Still Standing
by twilightdazzle
Summary: While the horror of her past experience weighs heavily on her mind, Tenten must struggle to keep it all in so no one can see her pain. It was just so hard to do when Neji was the one trying to push it out of her and get her to talk.


It felt like the walls were closing in on me, like every time I would open my eyes they seemed to be another inch closer to me.

I guess it was a psychological thing when you've been trapped in such a small room for so long, when all you have to do to pass the time is count each second that goes by and pray for that thick metal door to burst open and the oh-so-beautiful sight of my rescuers to grace my eyes. And it ultimately left me too much time to hope for the salvation I knew would never come.

It left a dull ache in my bones and an insatiable itch in my fingertips to know that it would all end here, with my body broken and beaten on the cool stoned floor and a thin trail of my blood winding through the cracks of the stones. And as the pain ricocheted throughout my entire body, I let the negativity and reality of the situation swamp me again.

I was just Tenten, an insignificant former member of Team Gai, the girl who was destined to fill in the holes of the background and play the reoccurring extra in a series of movies. And no one ever paid much attention to the extras. I just had to face it; I wasn't that great of an asset to Konoha to risk a retrieval mission.

I was really going to die here.

XXXXXXXXX

My wrists were chained to the wall behind me, one on either side of my head. They extended about a foot so my arms hung limply in the air, and my legs were folded beneath me, cramped and tight. Several times each hour I had to unfurl them to push away the numbness and painful tingling sensations crawling through them. It was a rather awkward and agonizing position, and I tried to conjure up escape plans in my mind, but they always fell short when put into action. That only contributed to my frustration and despair.

The chains were thick, and my body was too weak from the abuse I'd been receiving to help in any way. All that vigorous training suddenly seemed useless. What good would a hard uppercut do now? And how would speed and flexibility help in this situation? My weapons had been stripped of me, the very field I excelled in and never failed at was no longer at my fingertips.

Hopelessness was not an emotion I was well accustomed with. People constantly told me that I practically radiated positive energy, and I took pride in my willpower and determination, but all that positivity was shot to hell now.

In my obscenely small five by five cell was a small rectangular window that hung just overhead, too small for even a girl as slim as me to squeeze through but large enough to douse half the room in warm sunlight.

I never noticed before, but the sun, although it always emitted the same light, shone in different emotions. Distantly, I can recall the feel of its warmness against my upturned cheek while I lay in the soft pillow of grass. Then, the sun filled me with innocent happiness, making my chest swell with warmth and bliss. Now, as I remained pushed back into the shadows of the other half of the room that remain untouched by the sun's rays, it only filled me with a powerful rage and abysmal sorrow.

I didn't understand. I didn't understand how Konoha could deem me unworthy and let me remain here for twelve days, routinely tortured and beaten for answers that I neither knew nor would provide an answer for.

My lips were being kept tightly held together, swallowing back screams and answers I yearned to yell, for Konoha. I couldn't believe none of my friends had come yet. I was just so sure that they would fight to the death for me. And when I thought of friends, my mind wandered to Neji.

His silken brown hair blowing in the wind. The strength of his arms when he caught me after I stumbled or fell. The handsome structure of his face. My erratic pulse and the heat that flooded my system when he was near.

He kept me from letting life escape the hold of my fingers.

But then I remembered his cold, sharp words and his disappointed glares. I was too far behind his damn status to be useful or worthy of his presence. I mean, I was a Jounin, had been for nearly seven months, and he hadn't turned his back on our usual training sessions yet. He had been a jounin for much longer, probably already ANBU captain material, but that was his next step. I suppose he had always been like this, and since he never really came around as often, it just seemed a lot harsher than it used to.

And being contained in this stupid room I was filled with regrets so powerful that tears sprang to my eyes, burning and pricking.

I wished I'd told Lee more how proud I was of him, how he was like the brother I never had. It just sucked that Gai would never know how grateful I was to him for making me into the kunoichi I was today. I wanted so badly to be able to attend Naruto and Hinata's wedding and witness Sasuke finally give into his feelings for Sakura. It's an utter shame that I didn't go on the spa getaway with Ino when I had the chance.

And probably my most burning regret, I wished I had confessed to Neji just how exhilarating his presence was, how deeply I loved him.

The door flew open but didn't startle me in the least, and I kept my head down and my tears back. The heavy fall of boots met my ears first before the disgustingly familiar sight of the frayed brown objects came into view.

"I thought you would have gotten through your thick skull that I won't give you any fucking answers," I hissed, keeping my eyes locked on the boots for any sudden movements.

He snickered. "Yeah," he responded in that deep, scratchy voice that made me cringe inwardly. "I also figured that help may not be coming anytime soon either. It seems that your precious village doesn't want you anymore. Just another expendable ninja."

I could practically feel his sneer, the truth of his words striking me deep in my core and making my heart quiver painfully. It was true. Konoha could afford to lose me, unlike my team members of the mission I had been on: Neji, Shikamaru, and Naruto.

We had just been chasing down a group of missing nin that were causing quite a few problems when the tables had been turned. Instead of us walking away with them, they walked away with me, dragged me off to Kami knows where, and smirked at my pain.

"You're wasting your time then," I didn't intend to for it, but my voice came out weak, like a sad child's.

"There are other ways to break you, Sweetheart," he responded roughly. "Of course, they'd benefit us more than they'd benefit you. Besides, I enjoy watching you squirm."

His sick, twisted smile made my stomach lurch, and my head began to spin with all the horrors I would have yet to experience. Once again, the betrayal of my own teammates stung deeply, and the ache for their impeccable timing grew intensely. But above all else, my love for them remained , more powerfully intact.

And it began all over again, questions pouring from his mouth and cries flowing from mine. The blade of his kunai dragged softly across my cheek first, drawing only a thin swell of blood. Then, he let the flat surface dip down and drag across my collar bone, making my shudder at how close the tip was to my neck.

The last time someone had come in here was two days ago, so my old wounds were only in the process of healing, my body still fresh and sore to the pain. Right now, I was so exhausted, I wondered if I would even be able to feel more pain.

I realized with a strangled scream, that I could. He had the tip of the kunai buried into my right shoulder, twisting it excruciatingly slow while pushing it in deeper. I lifted my head for a single moment to see the black stubble lining his mouth, and the ugly sneer that revealed his yellowing teeth.

He kept yanking my loose hair, pulling it sharply and stressing my neck. His words sounded like a mumbled mess to my ears, my eyes too blurred with tears to actually see anything but shapes. But the pain was as clear and sharp as anything I'd ever felt. My cries were the only sounds to break the silence, my teeth gritting out the desire to answer his damn questions. I wouldn't break for him.

I felt the blade cut a short, deep line on my upper arm before carving a looping, shallow design on the back of my hand. My eyes which were slammed shut and still leaking tears, shot open when I felt the weapon hover precariously at the collar of my shirt. He let it ghost down a bit before he savagely ripped through the thin material to reveal the flat expanse of my stomach. I silently thanked Kami that the top of my shirt still clung together to cover my breasts.

Slowly, I raised my eyes to watch his eyes alight with an odd gleam and his lips curve into a feral smile. My mouth was dry, bile rising in my throat. But he tore his eyes away and let them drift down to my torn up pants.

My heart dropped into my stomach, beating frantically against my ribcage. The kunai drifted lower, and my mind began to think rapidly. My legs were weak, but maybe they were strong enough to deliver a swift kick to the head.

Before I had time to put my plan into action, however, there was a faint sound from outside my cell, and my captor stood with an aggravated sigh.

"Just when I was getting to the good part," he mumbled as he stood and made his way to the door. Then, he stopped and turned, my thick tears obscuring my view of him. "Don't worry, Doll, we only just started. I'll be back."

My chest was suddenly heaving, all the apprehension and desperation building up until it filled my chest and throat, pushing and expanding. I was suddenly frantic, pulling at my constraints and thrashing about.

I had to get out. I had to.

My left hand was dripping blood from the cut I had received, and I discovered my hand slid more easily in the tight shackles that bound it. I pulled harshly, gritting my teeth against the pain and strength it was taking. My whole arm was shaking with exertion and frustration, and when my hand suddenly fell from the chains to land limply on my leg, it took a few moments for the success and relief to sink in.

Despite the circumstances, a wide grin split my face, and I cradled my throbbing hand close to my body. I flexed my fingers and rolled my wrist several times to ease the stiffness before stopping to examine it closely. There were small crescent shaped marks in my palms from where I had clenched my fists against the pain, and I was suddenly overcome with weariness.

Four times. They had come in a total of four times to torture answers out of me, and today had probably been one of the better days. Right in the crook of my collarbone one of my captors had produced a rather thick senbon and decided to dig it rather deeply into my skin, creating the most excruciating of all my wounds. The skin was so tender in that particular area that it constantly throbbed, but when I made any movements with my right arm, made worse by the wound adorning my shoulder.

The last torture session had been more use of fists than weapons. My swollen cheek had just shrunken back to normal size, but there was still a line of bluish-black across my cheekbone and a yellowing one dotting the left side of my abdomen. The gash across my ribcage had stopped bleeding, leaving a dark stain on my blue shirt, and the stab wound on my left hip still pulsed painfully.

I pulled at my left hand, pulled until I thought I would dislocate my shoulder, pulled until tears of anger rolled swiftly down my cheeks. It was no use. My arms were shaking and felt like jell-o when I let my body sag against the wall and my forehead fall onto my upraised arm.

He was going to come back, and he was going to take it to the next step, use my body as he pleased. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it unless I tried to escape now, and I would still have to work my ass off with even the element of surprise on my side.

And then I heard it, and I forgot how to breathe. The rise and fall of quick footsteps outside my cell. My struggling became more hysterical, and my heart rate sped up incredibly. The door swung open, and my movements ceased, all hope lost.

My breath escaped me in a powerful, wavering gasp. Stiffening, I felt my eyes widen and a surprised cry get caught in my throat.

Neji had always been beautiful in my eyes, but never had he looked so beautiful standing on the threshold of that doorway. For once, the normally stoic Hyuuga looked surprised, and his face wasn't as hard as stone. In fact, when he said my name it came out softly and his eyes were gentle.

"Neji," I gasped brokenly, and he rushed forward, dropped to his knees, and took my face into his hands.

They were warm, rough but strong from endless training, and cupped my cheeks like I would break. Now that I think about it, it probably looked like I would. His eyes swept my whole figure, drinking in the images and examining the damage. My clothes were spotted with blood, as well as the dried blood on my arms and chest. My captors, miraculously, had not touched my face, but it was streaked with dirt and tears.

In an act of tenderness I'd never seen Neji commit before, he dragged his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away the dirt marks and tears, only to have more tears fall in their place. His ridiculously gorgeous lavender eyes were luminous in the unusually pale set of his attractive face, and I felt relief tumble over me.

"Neji," I whispered again, and he leaned his head closer to mine. His hair brushed my face. "Just get me the hell out of here."

There was a brief moment of silence, and I could see Neji swallow before responding. "Yeah, we're going."

He stood, and I let my eyes slide shut as he gently lifted the chain to examine it. I was suddenly struck with the fact that one of those men could come barging back in here, maybe even all four of them. It made my breath hitch with fear and an icy feeling sink into my stomach.

"Neji," I said, and he responded as if he already knew what I was going to say.

"They're being taken care of. Don't worry."

I heard the shackle break first rather than feel my wrist come free. Not expecting the sudden release, I fell forward into Neji's awaiting arms, my nose burying into his shoulder. His smell was so inviting yet so alien to me all the same.

When he gathered me up into his arms, cradling me against his chest, a cocoon of warmth and security wrapped tightly around me, and I released all the apprehension and dread that seemed to permanently occupy my body. Sudden drowsiness made my head loll to the side and rest lazily against his chest. He was moving swiftly, but my eyes were too heavy to lift and see my surroundings. I didn't want to see where I was.

"Shit." That wasn't Neji's voice, but it was familiar. "I knew I should have made those fuckers cry." Naruto?

My mind was hazy and unfocused, and when I cracked my eyes open slightly a shock of yellow met my eyes.

"How is she doing?" Shikamaru?

"Her injuries don't seem to be fatal, just painful."

Their words sounded like mush, faint and thick to my ears. A burst of cool air suddenly washed over me, shocking my senses and causing to snuggle into Neji's hard chest for any warmth I may find. And I could have sworn his arms tightened around me.

Something cold and soft stung my cheek, and I jolted.

"It's okay. It's snowing," Neji said softly.

And then a soft laugh escaped me.

"It's snowing," I repeated, closing my eyes to let sleep claim me as the soft white flurries sprinkled down upon me.

XXXXXXXXXX

_I dreamt of lying in the snow, and it wasn't cold, just soft. My long chestnut waves were splayed out across the white pillowed ground, and my body was slightly sunken into it. Only when I dug my fingers into the snow did it turn cold, sending a cool tingle through my fingers and down my arm._

_Contently, I watched the snow fall from the night sky through the trees that towered over me, like dust from the stars. They looked beautiful, illuminated by the moon and silhouetted against the velvety black of the sky. Smiling widely, I closed my eyes, simply happy to be in this place and feeling like this._

_Everything suddenly went cold, the moisture of the snow seeped through my clothes, and the air was painfully frigid. My chest nearly felt frozen, making it nearly impossible to draw oxygen into my lungs. And my eyelids wouldn't lift, no matter how much I wanted to see what was going on and why this perfect atmosphere was changing. Finally, with a loud burst of breath, my cinnamon orbs were unleashed, and I was staring up at a stone ceiling and lying on a hard floor._

_I was back in my cell._

I must have woken with a gasp or a moan because Neji turned his head to mine, which was resting on his shoulder from where I was now positioned on his back. The sun exploded in my eyes, bringing brightly colored spots and a flash of white, before I was able to blink it all away to make out his face. He was so close, his warm breath tickling my cheeks and blowing back my loose strands of hair.

My throat locked up for words, and I didn't know what to say, so I let my eyes dart away. Walking ahead of us was Naruto, dragging his feet tiredly. And then there was Shikamaru, his hands stuck into his pockets and his shoulders hunched in his usual lazy slouch. Beside him, Lee, jabbering on about youth and life to the deaf ears that were Naruto and Shikamaru.

The leaves were crunching beneath Neji's feet, a healthy crunch that made me think of chips, and the sun glittered and wound its way through the vibrant green tops of the trees. It felt good, a slight bit more on the cooler side, but the heat from the sun warmed me to the bone.

Overcome by sad relief and striking nostalgia, I turned my face so that it was now my forehead against his shoulder and took in several deep breaths of the crisp forest air.

"It's not snowing anymore," I managed to mumble weakly, making sure my lighthearted tone was audible.

Neji's back rolled, his deep chuckle reverberating throughout my own chest. "Ah, so you've noticed."

Immediately aware of Neji's hands firmly placed on the back of my thighs and the way they seemed to burn marks right into my skin, I began to squirm. "I can walk you know."

This time Neji made an uncharacteristic snort. "I doubt that. You've been out for nearly a day."

At this moment, Naruto shot a glance over his shoulder, and his cerulean eyes blinked while a grin split his face.

"She's awake!"

Lee also whipped around, and he and Naruto barreled toward me jubilantly. Surprised, my hands flew up to grasp Neji's shoulders weakly, and he growled at the two approaching and potentially dangerous ninja. Their faces were bright and happy and looming up closer, but Neji couldn't push them away without dropping me.

Thankfully, Shikamaru managed to grasp the back of their collars and yank the two back forcefully. "Don't start this shit," the dark haired jounin mumbled before turning his eyes to me and nodding with a small smile. "It's great to have you back."

I turned to Neji now, who also turned toward me, and looked straight into his eyes, guising any discomfort I was feeling.

"You know what else would be great?" I began, smiling. "Food."

XXXXXXXXXX

All this company felt suddenly overwhelming, and amidst the joking and chatting I found myself wanting to cry. I tried hard to make smiles real and the happiness floating around the others real as well, but it just wouldn't come as easily. Naruto and Lee were putting in their best efforts trying to make me feel better, and I did feel touched by their efforts but it wasn't enough. My mind was still clouded over with pain and my body sore enough for a single touch to make me wince, though Lee had informed me he had dressed my wounds with healing herbs and bandages, a very messy and clumsy job I might add.

My entire right shoulder was the most vulnerable to pain than any other part of my body. It constantly throbbed, but any large or sharp movements brought on an excruciating rip of fire. My torso was sensitive, keeping me from bending over too much, and my legs were wobbly and weak but still managed to support me.

"You didn't eat much," Neji stated blandly, nodding his head toward the tin plate in my lap that was still half full.

I shrugged it off. "I guess my stomach shrunk." I threw in a smile, one that was supposed to be lighthearted and soft. Just another part of the act.

The small bit of food I'd eaten already gave me more strength, and I had walked around a bit to work the stiffness from my legs. The food I received during my captivity was utterly disgusting and given to me at uncoordinated times, so I imagine my stomach wasn't used to large ingestions of food anymore.

"Well, get ready to make it grow," Naruto said with a wink, and I pushed out a smile.

We were currently sitting in a misshapen square, me and Shika leaning back against the large trunks of the trees, Naruto sprawled out leisurely on the grass, and Neji leaning back against a large rock on one elbow. Lee had bounded off to do some "intense laps around the surrounding area that will help maintain the beauty of youth," his words not mine.

The forest was beautiful at this time of day. The greens and yellows of the trees were especially cheerful and bright in the glare of the afternoon sun, and the forest floor was covered in cushiony patches of luscious green grass and sprouting vividly colored flowers here and there. It was the sun, however, that held most of my attention. Down in my cell, I was sure that I would never again be able to touch the sunlight, never smell the freshness of the earth.

Lee suddenly bounding into our little clearing broke me out of my desolate thoughts, and I eyed his excited expression warily.

"I come with wonderful news!" he exclaimed, and in the corner of my eye I saw Neji's eyebrow twitch in annoyance. "A hot spring, only just beyond that cluster of trees over there."

"Lee, in case you haven't noticed, we're in a forest," Naruto said with amusement. "Trees are clustered everywhere."

A genuine giggle escaped my lips at Lee's expression of realization. "Well, yes, I didn't realize that before." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "But I thought it would be refreshing to us all, especially our beautiful Tenten, to take a bit of time to ourselves and relax in its depths."

I looked to Neji, as did everyone else (he was the captain of the team), with an eager expression. I could only imagine how glorious it would feel to my aching muscles if I just took a short two hour dip. Neji returned my gaze, making direct eye contact, before nodding.

Naruto jumped up happily, and even Shikamaru released a pleased sigh. Giddy with the thought of being clean, I ungracefully used the rough bark to help me to my feet. Neji was by my side in a flash, grasping my forearm firmly and steadying me.

"I still want to walk over there," I told him, really meaning it. I wasn't a baby.

"Fine," he stated. "But I'm helping."

Willing to work with him on this, I took every step cautiously and stumbled more often than not. Naruto had torn a clean trail through the shrubbery for us to step through, and we followed at a much calmer pace. Finally, the sight of the bubbling spring spread before us as we broke through a large bush.

My soreness and aches suddenly felt more sharp, and my legs trembled. Neji's eyebrow shot up in question.

"I'm fine," I responded.

I watched as Naruto began to shrug out of his clothes, and my cheeks burned. I turned to Neji.

"Can I go on my own?" I asked, though I had every intention of going despite his answer.

"Yeah, let me just-" I placed my hands on my hips and delivered a hard glare. "Or you can just go on your own."

I smiled and began to stumble my way very slowly along the spring, using branches and trunks as support. My back and shoulders felt so stiff and sore, and I was getting increasingly agitated by the fact that I couldn't find a nice spot with ample privacy. Just as I was about to throw off my clothes and jump in, I spotted a large rock ahead, one that sat smack dab in the middle of the spring and allowed water to flow on either side of it. Foliage abundantly decorated both side of the spring, and I figured I was pretty safe here.

The boys were far enough away that I could no longer see or hear them, and I realized that it would probably be a good idea to stop walking. Neji would definitely get on my case if I didn't. He was such a damn control freak.

I leaned over the spring a slight bit, my arm wrapped around my ribs where it hurt to breathe. A ferocious blush fired up my face when I saw my distorted reflection in the bubbling waters. My hair was wild and matted together in thick clumps, quite possibly from blood. My face was dirtied with grime and more pale than usual. My clothes were barely clinging to me, my shirt in serious danger of flying away in the next burst of wind and my pants tattered and looking more like rags than an item of clothing.

How could they even stand looking at me without laughing or turning away in disgust? The water and idea of cleanliness felt more overpowering than it had only seconds ago.

Peeling my clothes off was hard for two basic reasons. One, it hurt like hell, and I moved so slow it was almost painfully on its own. Two, it was amazingly hard to remove my clothes while they were in such a fragile state, and I was glad I had such a gentle touch.

I was down to my undergarments, my top and bottoms strewn off onto the bank, and I my eyes darted through the trees to the group of boys I could not see. If Naruto came bounding through those trees in the next few moments then I was pretty sure I could find the strength to kick his ass. Clenching my teeth as I reached behind my back, I began to lift my sports bra and stopped, uncertain, before slipping it completely off. Then, quickly as I could manage, I climbed out of my underwear and stood completely bared to the world.

The vulnerability was astounding, the rush of sudden fear crushing my lungs. This feeling was so familiar to me, so unwelcome, that it forced tears to my eyes. Forgetting that I was in pain and slightly crippled at the time, I rushed forward and let myself slide over the bank and into the water.

Muscles burning at the unexpected movements, I gasped as the warm water encased me in a shell of comfort. The massaging bubble of the waters and the perfectly hot temperature was more marvelous to my body than I could have imagined, working its way into kinks and soft points. I felt a sudden weight add to my body and remembered that I had forgotten to remove my bandages.

Gingerly, I peeled each sagging one away, silently sending another thank you to Lee. As soon as the water poured into my wounds I swallowed down my cries, falling heavily against the rough plains of the rock. It was almost like the water was fire itself, sending intensely hot sparks through my body, but cleansing it all the same.

For the first time in nearly two weeks, the calming sounds of nature filled my ears, but did nothing to place me in a serene hold. It just gave me more time to think.

Neji's face floated behind my closed eyelids. He was acting almost exactly the same as he usually did. Though he assisted me with everything, he never spoke conversationally and gave only stoic glances in my direction. He helped because it was his duty. He never spoke because he was ashamed with my weakness. He showed no emotion because he didn't care.

The idea made my chest begin to heave beneath the water. So close to losing him, but it didn't matter because I never had him to begin with. Still, it sent a cold shudder through my chest at the fact that it was like it had been any other mission to him. For a moment, he seemed like he had been affected, back in my cell. His face, his eyes, everything had a softer edge to it, and each one of his touches had been so gentle and feather light. Maybe he just hadn't wanted to touch me at all. It hurt, hurt so bad it out stung everything else. Sobs were bubbling at the base of my throat, and the desolation took me back to my cell, the place that had actually been my home for those twelve days.

I could still feel the chains clamped around my wrists, the cold of the floor biting through my pants. My nose still stung as the foul breath of my captor puffed on my face, and I could hear the ring of a blade being drawn. The room was so cold, the atmosphere frozen with fear and unspoken horrors. My unspoken horrors. I could hear more boots and snickers as I sunk deeper into water, the waters closing over my head.

Terror and exhaustion teamed up together and slammed into my body over and over, relentless and cruel. My anguish and desolation roared in my head, screamed in my heart, and I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream, but it's what they wanted, and I refused to let them break me this way.

In the water, where everything sounded sluggish and vague, there was something that didn't belong. They'd found me again, and when hard fingers wrapped around my bicep, the absolute horror of what I knew they would do this time exploded within me like a volcano. My mouth dropped open to release a scream, but water rushed down my wind pipe, and I was pulled forcefully upward.

Sputtering and coughing madly, I let the hands shake me and an angry voice filled my ears.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Neji was angry, no livid. I could tell by the barely noticeable vein throbbing in his head and the way his pale eyes burned. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

His grip was hard, uncomfortably tight, and his jerking of my arms brought on another flash of pain.

"Ow," I responded weakly and on impulse after my coughing attack had dissipated.

This immediately loosened his grip, though it still remained on my arms, and I let my body fall slack with relief and weariness. I was puffing for breath, and I could see Neji's chest rising and falling more rapidly than usual.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I said, fumbling for words and leaning my head back to gaze up into his face. "I didn't realize that…I wasn't trying to…"

Water droplets dangled from his hair and laggardly slid down the fine contours of his face before plopping back into the spring. They made him seem more striking and more serious, a combination I found hard to balance at the same time. I waited for him to explode and chew me out for acting so carelessly, but my mind was too washed with the fright still quaking my body and alleviation weakening my knees for me to actually care.

Pale eyes traveled my face for a moment and he released my arms finally, letting his sink back into the water. "You were just under for a while. I didn't know what you were trying to do."

His face was more relaxed now, well, as relaxed as it normally was and his breathing was shallower. As I noticed this, I also noticed our proximity, and how my breasts were nearly pressed against his chest, though he was completely clothed. The thought of us so intimately pressed together sent an excited thrill down my spine and a shudder throughout my body. Silently, I cursed Naruto and his stupid stories for making me into a pervert.

I smiled yet again. My cheeks were beginning to hurt. "I was just daydreaming, you know how I am," I said somewhat airily, trying to convince him that I hadn't just acted like a total fool.

His eyes narrowed slightly for a moment, and I figured he was trying to see me through the glare of the sun. "I'm not leaving," he stated flatly.

"Fine," I said slightly irritated that my alone time had been demolished and slightly relieved that my mind would be side tracked to something else. Of course, I also couldn't forget slightly embarrassed because of my current state of undress.

I settled back against the rock, my cheeks burning and sinking deeper into the water so that it grazed my chin. Neji shook out of his shirt, and I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on his muscled physique. His stomach was flat, and the muscles so perfectly defined in his stomach and arms that it shouldn't have been natural. It was odd, now that I thought of it, how the idea of being touched by any other person sent a strike of fear through me, but it formed the complete opposite feeling when Neji was near. The security and ease I felt with him was….nice and almost uncontrollable.

I guess that's what love did to you.

"So," I began, feeling obligated to break the silence. "Lee? How did he join you guys?"

Neji didn't open his eyes from where he was leaning casually against the bank as he spoke. "When we returned to Konoha, Lee wouldn't stop pestering Tsunade to let him join the rescue mission she was sending us back out on."

"Oh."

So they hadn't even attempted to look for me first? My throat closed painfully several times before I managed to swallow the lump.

I treaded my fingers through the water, watching it disinterestedly as it slipped through my fingers in small waterfalls and dribbled back into the spring. Steam rose in a thick mass between us, but his outline was still pretty clear from where I stood. I wanted so badly to part the cloud between us and brush my hands across his skin, just to make sure he was real. The burn was wonderful, the fire that pumped through my veins when his skin came into contact with mine exhilarating.

A wet strand of hair fell into my face, tickling my nose uncomfortably, and I blew upward to rid myself of the annoyance. It didn't even sway. Agitated, I shot my hand upward to brush it away and instantly regretted the motion.

A soft hiss passed through my lips, and when I opened my eyes I saw Neji's form began to become clearer as he parted the steam. Even after he was clearly visible, he kept advancing.

"What are you doing?" The question shot out of my mouth quickly, nerves beginning to bubble in my stomach.

He said nothing, just continued advancing, face set intently and eyes focused on something that was not my face but somewhere below. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment and anger, and I pressed myself more tightly against the rock while preparing the words I was planning to shout in his ear. When his hand reached out, however, my anger faded and I was suddenly filled apprehension and uncertainty. On instinct, my hand flew up, and he caught it almost casually, his eyes glazing with something akin to suspicion.

It disappeared quickly, and I now saw that his eyes were focused on my injured shoulder and not….somewhere else. His hand traced the deep wound on my collar bone, and I repressed a shudder. The skin around the wound was sensitive, and his touch brought back the image of the senbon and the man's leering face, scarred and sharp.

"This one," Neji began, his finger continuing its circular path around the wound. "It bothers me."

"What a coincidence," I said with a stiff smile and off chuckle. "It bothers me too."

Neji tossed me a hard glance that immediately vaporized my smile. There was that harsh behavior again. Still, it didn't diminish the electric shock that transferred from his fingertips to spread throughout my body.

"Ten." He hadn't called me that in years, and even though it wasn't the cutest or most creative thing, it meant something great to me. "They didn't….I mean….your clothes…."

In all the years I'd known Neji Hyuuga, I had never once seen him lost for words. And though it was peculiar and almost shocking, I knew exactly what he was trying to ask me. Had they…raped me? It was hard to voice the word, to even think about it. The cruelness of it burnt my tongue and made my stomach pitch. But mostly, the reality of how closely related to it I could have been was what made me cringe.

"No," I answered softly, my voice rising barely above a whisper and my eyes securely glued to the ripples I was creating with my fingers.

Though faint, I heard Neji release a rush of air, one that brushed across my forehead and initiated the internal release of the breath I was also holding. Did this mean he was relieved…for me? Kami, I wanted to feel that way so badly, so bad that my heart reached out in my chest for him.

And he was so close, and I was filled with the overpowering urge to close the gap between us and kiss him until I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to be faced with the possibility of losing that chance again and not knowing if there was a future at all. But I didn't move because, to me, the only thing worse than losing the chance was losing him completely if he didn't feel the same way. I was a coward.

"I-I think I'm ready to get out of here," I spoke finally, after the silence dragged out to nearly painful lengths.

My throat was constricting, my own cowardice angering and frustrating me. Why couldn't I do it?

"I'll need to redo your bandages," he stated dropping his hand and moving back to the bank.

I felt the pressure of his presence lift from me completely, leaving me achingly vacant and longing. My nakedness still made me feel vulnerable, and I nervously opened my mouth but he spoke before me.

"I'll turn around," he said, and I didn't miss the amused tone of his voice. "I already have the bandages with me."

I mumbled a barely audible "okay" and waded over to the rocks my clothes were strewn across. I turned my head to the side, catching Neji lifting himself from the heated waters. His arms were flexed, droplets of water clinging to his bare skin and making him glisten in the sunlight flashing through the trees. Once he had fully retracted himself from the water, he faced his back to me and stood with his arms crossed across his chest.

With a deep sigh and cheeks on fire, I felt my leg brush against a rather large rock and used it as a step ladder to heave myself from the spring. My arms shook with exertion and though I tried to withhold the loud huffs of breaths I was releasing it only succeeded in hurting my chest. Wanting nothing more than to avoid further humiliation, I didn't pause and slipped on my undergarments and pants.

"Just leave your shirt off," Neji ordered and turned around as soon as I'd adjusted my bra over my chest.

His eyes didn't drift over my body, not that I expected them to, but anyone who was interested in another wouldn't bother to hold back. It was so disappointing. He had donned his shirt again, sadly, and now had a small pack slung across his shoulder. He tossed me a small green towel that he had produced from the pack.

"Dry off a bit," he said, and I felt the irritation grow at his demands. "The bandages will peel if they're wet."

"Yes Sir," I muttered to myself and dragged the cloth along my torso, dabbing softly at the areas around my wounds.

He dropped the pack on the ground and motioned for me to sit on a cushiony spot of grass where he was kneeling. Of course, I did exactly as he said and waited as he brought out the bandages and ointments.

I looked down at my stomach. So many cuts and bruises. My eyes traveled the length of my arms, slashed and stabbed. Every red wound and dark blemish jumped off the paleness of my skin and burned into my eyes, leaving an imprint to accompany the scars I would attain. They were so disgusting, solid proof of my failure and inability to protect myself. So disgusting because those men that I was now free from had left their mark on me, like they said they would.

Tearing my gaze away from my battered form, I caught Neji watching me intently. His cloudy eyes flickered across my face, meeting my gaze before returning to the job at hand. I couldn't read his face.

"Your side," Neji said, and I angled myself to give him better access.

The coolness of the ointment spreading across the gash on my ribs stung and surprised me enough to make me gasp, and Neji looked up at me.

"How long ago did you get this one?" he questioned, now pressing the bandage to my ribs.

"About two days ago," I responded after thinking for a few seconds. "Short bladed katana."

"You remember specifics?"

I didn't answer for a moment, realizing that I remembered practically everything and every weapon used during those twelve days, whereas I had almost completely forgotten the feel of my cool bed sheets and the smells wafting through the streets of Konoha and even what exact shade of blue my bedroom walls were. All those things, all those things I cradled close to my heart, had been replaced with the sounds of heavy footsteps and chips on blades held almost directly beneath my nose.

"Yeah," I responded brokenly, despite my efforts to calm myself. "It kept my mind off things."

Neji straightened his back from its bent position and looked me square in the eye, the burning intensity in them making my breath catch. Kami, his eyes were just so amazing, so beautifully complex. "They're dead, you know," he stated. I suddenly realized that we hadn't spoken about _them_ at all since I'd been rescued.

"Good." My answer was flat, but even I could hear the underlying tone of fury.

Neji said nothing but let his fingers dance across my other side, fingering the large bruise before moving up to press against my ribs. I was lost in the pleasant feeling when I released a gasp. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Bruised ribs," he stated before redirecting his attention to my shoulder.

He gently swiped back my long waterfall of hair so that it now fell down my back and gave him a better view of the wound. His fingers brushed the column of my neck, and a chill drifted along my spine. I allowed my eyes to slide shut, silently enjoying the soft touch and sharp tingles of his fingers. After winding the bandage tightly around my shoulder, he shifted to my collarbone, then my back where a deep cut lay, and my hip. There were so many injuries that the pain melded into one massive throb, and I was surprised each time he turned his attention to an area that I didn't even know had a wound.

"Hmm," Neji made a soft hum when he lifted my hand, and I opened my eyes to find him eyeing it disapprovingly. "You're lucky. This could have gone deeper and cut to the bone."

The thought was gruesome and painful, and my brow furrowed. "Well, I guess I am pretty lucky those guys were nice enough to be gentle."

My cheeky smile had no effect on the Hyuuga like it did on every other person. He stopped the wrapping and tossed me another one of those glances, and it frustrated me to no ends. What the hell was his problem?

His bandaging around my hand was tight but somehow comforting, and since it was the last wound that needed attention he rummaged through the pack once more after replacing the nearly completely used roll of bandages. He withdrew a dark blue shirt and tossed it to me.

"I don't think you'll be wanting to wear that shirt anymore," he stated, standing abruptly and towering over me. "It may be a little large."

Gratefully, I accepted the shirt, as if I had a choice, and climbed to my feet. It fell past my bottom and hung about me like a tent, but I grabbed the back of the shirt, pulling it tighter about me, and tied it in a tight knot. The sleeves were a little long, but before I had a chance to bother with them I felt battle worn hands on my thighs.

"Neji!" I glanced down in surprise to see the top of his dark head and his hands ripping the tattered cloth of my pants.

Fighting the flush rising in my cheeks, I wondered how he did things like this so casually without feeling the least bit uncomfortable. Not that I felt uncomfortable, of course, just too excited for my own good.

I now realized that my pants were actually so frayed they hung off at some parts, and Neji was altering them into shorts. His thumb was resting on my inner thigh, high enough to make me want to squirm and a fire erupt in the pit of my stomach. Did he feel that energy too, that lava like pulsing in his veins? He probably wouldn't.

When he stood, his fingers slid along my leg, leaving a raging inferno in their wake, and I grinned. "About time I got a new wardrobe. Wearing the same thing for almost two weeks would drive Ino mad-"

Neji, who had turned away to look down the length of the spring, suddenly whipped around, eyes squinted in anger. His jaw was tensed, and the pack lay long forgotten back in the grass. My words halted on my tongue, my eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you doing?" he spat, and I was stung by the accusing pitch of his words.

"W-what?" I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about, and I was sure I hadn't done anything to anger him.

"The smiles, the laughing, the damn pretending." My own fury began to congregate at the fact that I was being pin pointed for being fake, and my hands unconsciously balled into fists. "Why are you holding back?"

"Oh, and you're the master of expression," I responded with equal venom, each word dripping with nasty sarcasm.

"It's not about me, _Tenten_," he shot back, rolling my name off his tongue with a sharp enunciation. "You're acting like everything is perfectly fine now."

"Isn't it?" I asked, pulling myself up to my full height but still falling several inches short of him. "Besides, it's none of your damn business."

I shoved passed him with my shoulder and was planning on making my way back to our camp when he grabbed hold of my elbow and whirled me around to face him again. I was closer to him now, close enough to see the anger and determination etched clearly into his usually transparent eyes and close enough to feel his anger radiating off him in waves.

"No it's not alright, and yes it is my fucking business." Neji never lost control of his temper, and the fact that he was letting it loose on me made my throat constrict and tears gather in the corner of my eyes. I didn't want anyone questioning me. I didn't want anyone breaking all those things out. "Just talk about it and talk about it the way it is, not how you want it to be seen."

He was jerking my arm, straining my already tense muscles. "You're hurting me, you idiot," I hissed through my teeth, wanting desperately to get away from him. "Just let me go. Please."

I knew he heard my unsteady plea and saw the tearful desperation in my eyes, but it didn't faze him. I thought I would start hyperventilating soon, his pressuring and persistency ruining it all, breaking down those steady walls. "Just tell me, Ten. Tell me why you're so damn determined to keep everything in."

Finally, I gave him a hard shove to the chest and managed to knock him back to a few steps, although his hard stare didn't lessen. Standing there, breathing madly with my damp hair clinging to my face, I broke.

"Because," I cried, and all my emotions came out in a rush. "Because I was scared. I was scared of those men even when I tried not to be, when I was trained not to be. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to start all the things I'd planned or finish all the things I'd started. I was scared everyone would hate me for not saying goodbye. But mostly, I was scared because I thought you left me there. Every day I waited for you to save me, and every day you didn't come my heart broke, over and over again. Because if there was one person I could depend on, wanted to depend on, it was you, and when I needed you most there was no you. And I was so weak, and they got to me, like they said they would. They got to me."

My voice broke half way through, and I was looking at Neji through my entire tirade. Although my tears blurred his form, I could see his face lose its edge and his body lean towards me slightly. By my last words I was sobbing.

The massive explosion of emotions nearly knocked me off my feet. For those twelve days of my life, I couldn't utter a word, couldn't release any emotion to relieve myself of the pressure building in my chest. I'd cried because I couldn't restrain the tears, and each time I did it only heightened their enjoyment. Letting people see me only hurt me.

Neji stepped toward me, and I responded with a step backward, suddenly embarrassed by my display. My tears didn't recede, and Neji firmly grasped my elbow and pulled me toward him. I didn't fight, suddenly too weary to care, and allowed my face to nuzzle in his chest. He was so warm, and though we had never been in this particular position before, he felt like home.

His shirt soaked up my tears and muffled my sobs, and his arms held down my body as it shook uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, Ten," he said softly into my hair, his voice sounding the slightest bit hoarse. "I didn't mean to push so hard. I just wanted to make sure you were still the same girl, that they didn't damage you completely. They didn't get to you like you think. You still beat them."

I knew he was right, but I also knew it would take just a little bit of time to recover completely. Already, letting my woes out into the open, I felt lighter and more liberated. He let me cry my eyes dry, cry until couldn't make another sound. And then he still didn't release me. While my hiccups subsided and my shoulders stopped heaving with silent sobs, he drew circles on my lower back with his thumb, and I relaxed in his embrace. It must have been several minutes that we stood there, our chests rising and falling together and our breaths calming.

I was suddenly struck with the perfection of this moment, the implicit beauty of it. Now would be the perfect moment to tell him how I felt, not about my captivity but about him. This was what I had thought about every day while the knives and senbons were flaunted in front of my face. I thought about him. When I opened my mouth, however, no words pierced the air.

"We should get back," he stated, and I smiled up at him, this time practically effortlessly.

But my heart was still heavy and my chest tight because I had missed another chance.

We began our trek back in silence, and my mind raged at me. I just released a mountain of emotions on top of him, but I couldn't let three small words to him? I glanced over at him and drank in the serenity of his face in the pale glare of the sun, and determination surged through me. And the exact moment I stopped walking to tell him, Neji suddenly pulled me to the side and pushed me against the nearest tree. I opened my mouth in question when he covered it with his own.

For the first few seconds, I was in complete shock, my body frozen and unable to produce a reaction. But the moment he pressed against my lips harder, any train of thought I carried was wiped away by the rapid current of warmth and electricity that rushed to my brain. His tongue dipped into my mouth, and I gasped at the sharp jolt when it touched mine.

Then, his lips were moving fluently against mine, doing wonders that I couldn't even dream of. His hand slid along my thigh, producing intense chills while his skilled fingers burned the flesh of my leg. He grasped the underside of my thigh and lifted it up so it was level with his waist before pushing his pelvis against mine. I gasped in his mouth, and my fingers dug deeper into the depths of his silken hair.

It was so unbelievably hot between the two of us, and I faintly wondered if the spring was producing the heat or if we were. A protesting moan was caught in the back of my throat when he removed his lips from mine, but an approving one did manage to escape when he pressed butterfly kisses along the column of my neck. We were both panting now, and my head fell back against the rough bark of the tree as I lost myself in this feeling of euphoria.

"I know that……we probably……shouldn't….be doing…..this right here…..right now but…..I've wanted…..to kiss you for too damn long….and I couldn't wait anymore." The last part of Neji's chopped up sentence came out in a quick, mashed rush that was barely understandable, but I wasn't really paying attention to begin with. He opened his mouth to say something else, but it was interrupted with a growl when my hips unconsciously bucked into his.

He shot me a half hearted glare. "Do that again and bad things could happen," he whispered in such a dark, husky voice that I almost moaned aloud.

Just when his lips found their place back to mine, a voice nearly made me jump out of my skin. "Aha!" Naruto shouted, jumping from behind our tree with a giddy grin. "I knew that's what you two were doing. Couldn't keep your hands off eachother, you freaking perverts. Well, I've been here a while, and I think Neji is the one who finally lost it. But really, the sexual tension between you two was amazing."

I knew my face was a deep shade of scarlet, and I dropped it into Neji's neck in complete humiliation while he stared at the rambling blonde unabashedly.

"Wait 'til I tell Lee about this," Naruto said in almost girlish excitement before bounding off through the trees.

We remained in silence, our chests rising and falling in sync, when I couldn't stop the laughter bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know why I was laughing. It might have been Naruto and his conflict expressions and movements or the fact that we had just been caught making out like there was no tomorrow on a tree. But I really think it was because I was happy, and the way it tickled my insides and jumped in my chest made me do the first thing I could think of.

It felt good, the refreshing burst of it from my throat and the roll of my stomach. I must have taken Neji by surprise because he looked at me as if I had lost my mind before smirking as well. His face was soft despite the smirk, and he sighed and chuckled into my hair.

I realized that a large part of me was laughing in spite because despite my kidnappers' words and attempts to break me, I was still standing. And the best part was that I was standing with Neji.

**A/N: Damn, that was freaking long. It's just been sitting on my computer for a couple weeks, and I was like what the hell, might as well post it since it took up too many freaking hours of my life. : ) I have all these different stories started and waiting in my hard drive, and I should have them posted sooner or later. Most likely later. Haha. Well, I absolutely adore this pairing, and I hope you liked it. **


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